


First Times

by GamblingDementor



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Aromantic Asexual Character, Bisexual Female Character of Color, Bisexual Male Character, F/F, F/M, First Time, Gay Male Character, Lesbian Character of Color, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:05:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7625038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamblingDementor/pseuds/GamblingDementor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how everyone's first time went. Because there is no right and wrong way to experience the awakening of your sexuality and your first time holds exactly as much meaning as you decide it should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Times

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to all teenagers who haven't had their first time yet and aren't sure if they're doing this right, or who maybe don't want a first time at all, maybe not now, not ever. All of your experiences are valid and you're all beautiful.

 

Usnavi's first time was hurried and fumbling and more than a little ridiculous. He was seventeen and trying to look more confident than he really was, and Benny had gotten the two of them hot dates and Usnavi was sweating all the pressure on his shoulders through his shirt as they went to that special place by the Hudson where couples always went to make out − or more.

 

Emma definitely had _more_ in mind. She conjured a condom out of thin air, her hands cold from the night chill, but Usnavi was hot all over and as she spread her legs for him and pulled on his shoulders, begged him to _please do it quick_ , he tried to focus on anything but her, because this would all be over far too early if he looked at her. He stared at the trees behind her, could hear Benny grunting three bushes over, a dog barking a couple streets away, but all this to no avail. With the way Emma was gripping his back and bucking her hips somehow in sync with his erratic moves, and how hot and soft she was down there around him, there was nothing outside of this and his dick took over his brain and everything was a done deal before it even began.

 

He never had sex with Emma again. A few months later, though, he got a girlfriend and started to make it last over a few minutes, began to learn how to make it good for her. And sure, he still was always on the edge but that was because he was to stay alert if he didn't want Abuela to walk into his room mid-intercourse. He also learned that he's better at sex when he's really in love with the girl.

 

 

Eventually, at least. Because goddammit, as much as he tried, he couldn't make it more than five minutes the first time Vanessa pushed him down onto her bed and cornered him between her legs and her hair was a cascade of beauty falling around his face and he did try his best but she got the best of him embarrassingly fast. But that was fine, because that's the thing about a failed first time. You can always make it up the second time.

 

*

 

 

Sonny's first time was long overdue, or rather it was exactly as late as he wanted it to be. It's not like there hadn't been opportunities before. That girl from church propositioned him that one time, but he was living with Usnavi that summer and he couldn't exactly tell Abuela and his cousin that he was bringing a girl over to bang her, could he? By the time he was back living at home with his mom when the finances got better, the girl had lost interest. And the more Sonny thought about it, the more convinced he became that some random first time in a hidden corner wasn't for him.

 

Let it never be said that Sonny doesn't have a romantic soul. He didn't want a first time just for the sake of it, even though he did sort of want it to happen at some point, ideally sooner than later. For his first time, Sonny wanted… what _did_ he want? Flowers, chocolates, rose petals and shit? Maybe. There beat a romantic heart in that chest, after all. Sonny had always been a very passionate boy. Why shouldn't he extend that passion to sex? Why should he follow the hive mind and crave _any_ sort of sex with no standards because he's just a horny teenage boy? He could decide for himself what standards he wanted in his own life. Sonny always wanted the best for his family, his block, his people, and he wanted the best for himself as well, even in that area.

 

Even with Pete, it took a few months of dating for Sonny to understand his boundaries and expand them little by little, of making sure he's ready before he becomes _not_ a virgin anymore. There was even some goddamn awkward advice asking to Vanessa, which actually helped a lot. And then it happened, and he was ready, and Pete was thoughtful and it was all as passionate as fits them, and it was everything Sonny had wanted.

 

 

*

 

 

Daniela's first time didn't happen. But it could have. It was hot in Vega Alta, it always was, but Daniela liked it, especially when there was dancing and she felt every pore of her body burning from everywhere, from inside, from the dancing, from the crowd, and she felt so much more alive. In her arms a great dancer, tall and American and who didn't speak a word of Spanish. Daniela didn't speak English. Polite, charming, smiling, that was all she needed to know about him. She didn't even catch his name.

 

Well, he was a little bit less than polite when he steered them away from the crowd, away to some dark corner where no one would see them, away from where Daniela's friends all were. She tried to ask him what he was doing, but the language barrier was apparently still up and heavy between them and he just smiled. He let go of her arm, as if to give her the option to run away if she wanted to, but now Daniela's curiosity was piqued and she followed him through the crowd, away.

 

Then he grabbed her waist and pushed her back against a wall and shoved his tongue into her throat and okay, this was _definitely_ not Daniela's choice activity. Some people were into making out and rutting like overexcited bunnies. Daniela was into dancing and chatting with friends and reading magazines. And maybe the occasional gossiping. She tried to push on his shoulders and get him off of her but he misunderstood it for passion and groaned into this mess of a kiss, his hands tightening around her waist. It took her breaking her mouth away and saying a loud and clear "NO!" for him to get it. To his credit, he immediately backed off, his hands raised in apology, and they went back to dancing.

 

That's the furthest Daniela ever went with anyone and she isn't about to go any further any time soon.

 

 

*

 

 

Nina's first time was perfect. Darkness everywhere, blackout-induced panic, but Benny's hands guiding her up to the second floor, third floor, his studio on the fourth floor, up the steps three at a time even in the pitch black of the hall. His hands in her hands, in her hair, around her waist, sliding up under her dress, off with it. Soft, gentle, much gentler than Nina thought he would be, Benny took his time, and then some more. Hours in the dark, finding each other again and again, discovering her own body in a way she'd never thought possible, it was everything Nina was told a first time isn't supposed to be. It wasn't painful, it wasn't embarrassing. Benny wasn't in a hurry to take his share of pleasure and leave her handle hers. She regretted nothing, if maybe the last four months of her life but she put that thought away for the night. There was nothing to focus on but Benny tonight.

 

A perfect first time was followed by a perfect second time, and a perfect third time early next morning right at dawn. It all _made sense_. Nina had liked Benny far before that day, even before going to Stanford, but there hadn't been time, there hadn't been the opportunity, with her Dad always a footstep away whenever she talked to him for more than a few minutes. Well, her Dad had messed up and wasn't there to monitor her anymore, and what she chose to do with that liberty is make love with a guy she really liked, maybe a lot more than liked, maybe _loved_.

 

For Nina, it was meaningful that her first time was out of genuine feelings with someone she trusted. Her first time was the climax of a long lasting crush, but above all the beginning of something greater than both of them, the beginning of love, so even if it had been terrible, she would still cherish the memories of that night.

 

 

*

 

 

Pete's first time was god awful. Not because he was nineteen, not because he was more than a little tipsy and in a club's bathroom, not because anyone could have walked in on that girl he'd just met ten minutes earlier sucking his dick, not because he was squeezing his eyes shut through it all, not because he asked her to bend over the sink because he liked seeing asses more than boobs and she grunted and refused because of germs. None of that helped, of course. But the tipping point that made it awful was having to hold her up against the wall and try to actually do this, because face to face, there wasn't really any way to avoid looking, and looking meant going soft pretty much instantly. No muttered apologies for not making it, instead he blurted out a loud "Fuck, I'm gay" and dashed out of the shitty bathroom, tucking himself back in and walking home to jerk one off thinking about how great it would have been if he had picked up a guy instead.

 

At least a dumb first time turned a switch inside his brain or something like that. Not the switch he was thinking. He'd gone out to the club on a whim, with the full intent to find a girl and finally get laid and feel _normal_ for once. Finally get these thoughts fixed inside him, finally stop faking his attraction to girls. Well, that went pretty much the exact opposite of what he thought, didn't it? There's some thoughts that can't be cured. Better embrace them.

 

His first time with a guy was much, _much_ better.

 

 

*

 

 

Kevin's first time was with Camila. Back when she still wore her hair long and it flowed with the wind, he was courting her and was so in love it burned him on the inside every time he wasn't with her and every time he _was_ with her. He loved her thin lips and how he longed to kiss them, her dark eyes that contained the depth of the night and all its wisdom, her legs that went on and on, especially when she wore that dress he loved, her laugh that came often and loud back then, and he craved every minute with her. He was lucky enough to call her his, though not to her face because he still had some self-preservation left, and their first time was going to be absolutely perfect.

 

To him, it was. He brought Camila to the finest beach, the one with the rocks because he'd heard what sand did, laid a soft blanket on the ground for her, tried to cherish her and show every part of her body how much he loved her. It was romantic and beautiful and he still cherishes that memory. To her, she later told him, it was uncomfortable and a little bit too windy, and the rocks a pain on her back, and it only lasted a few minutes in her recollection. He loved her for being upfront, he does still love her for it, but in that exact moment, he wished she'd been a little less honest and let him have his perfect first time.

 

So the first time was short and messy, but the second was longer, and the third felt much better, and together they found out what worked and what didn't. They had the rest of their lives for that anyways.

 

 

*

 

 

Camila's first time wasn't with Kevin. It doesn't matter, in the end, does it? If the other person started the lifelong journey that is love and marriage just a little bit before you? There was a time, back a lifetime ago, when Kevin loved her and she didn't, not yet. She was sixteen and her parents and siblings were invited to a wedding all the way across Puerto Rico in Salinas and Kevin was the last thing on her mind, that grumpy farmer guy from across the neighborhood.

 

The wedding was beautiful. All family and friends were invited and even more showed up. The bride was lovely, the groom was handsome, the food was excellent, the dance was fun. _Really_ fun. Camila's partner (who she immediately made sure wasn't a cousin of some sort − thank God he was on the bride side and she was on the groom's) was ravishingly gorgeous, with dirty blond hair, a cute smile and eyes that sparkled, and when, in half words, he suggested they found some place far from the noise of the party, just the two of them, she didn't hesitate one second.

 

When back home her friends asked how the wedding was, she only thought of warm brown eyes and strong arms around her and, beyond the initial sting in their hurry, so much pleasure, and she only replied that it was like a dream come true.

 

One year later, Kevin had grown on her and they had a first time of their own. It was fine. No, it was _good_. Perfect with its imperfections. She never told him about the fair haired stranger at the wedding, of course. Because _of course_ Kevin would take issue with it, even though he has no right to. But Camila had a life before Kevin, and then she decided that the rest of her life would be with him. Whatever came before isn't irrelevant and hasn't disappeared, it's just that: what came _before_.

 

 

*

 

 

Carla's first time was underwhelming. She'd been dating Dev for almost four months, she was twenty-one and he kept trying to make a move. She kept fencing him off. Until one day, instead of feeling absolutely sure she wasn't ready to have sex with him, she felt a little bit hesitant, a tiny part of her wondering if maybe she did want to. She chose to listen to that part and gave in, and Dev did everything alright, everything that Carla had gathered was a sign of a great match, went down on her, listened to her, stopped when he realized she wasn't interested in more. That moment came fairly quickly, after one weak orgasm, and she didn't even touch him.

 

He was everything she was supposed to like. Carla likes kindness, she likes openness and gentle people with a good heart, yet she felt nothing, or near enough. He thanked her afterwards, cuddled and fell asleep with his hand in her hair, rubbing soothingly, and she stared at the ceiling for hours wondering what went wrong. Maybe this just wasn't for her? Maybe she was broken, too. Maybe Jesus built her differently.  They broke up a few weeks later.

 

A few years down the line, Carla had another first time with her girlfriend Eva and it all clicked. Mechanically, it wasn't much different than what Dev did to her, but it was a universe apart at the same time. Because Eva was a woman and sex with her was exactly like it was supposed to be and this is the only first time Carla chooses to remember.

 

 

*

 

 

Benny's first time was with a guy. His buddy Sam was back on the block after a summer in DR, he was exhausted and just crashed at Benny's, whose dad was out again. Normal guy things, beer, though neither of them were of legal drinking age, talking about their summer, watching TV, just enjoying being around each other. Until that point when it wasn't just normal guy things, it was Sam's tongue in his mouth and no idea how any of this had came to be. Sure, the conversation had veered into sexual things and sometimes, that kind of things happens. He just wasn't expecting that with one of his homies. He rolled with it, because that's what Benny did best. Warm hand against his waist, the other in his hair, that he still wore long and frizzy at that time, and soon the hard outline of Sam's dick pressed up against his thigh and what's a guy to do with that? He got that belt unbuckled and dipped to his knees, because that's what you do when your buddy needs you.

 

Somehow, this first exchange of bro-jobs worked wonders for Benny's self-esteem. He had never been one to lack in that area, but with a first time under the belt, he felt so much more self-assured that when he approached girls, it was with just a touch of smug confidence that got him laid every night out at the club.

 

Sam and him tacitly decided never to mention that night again. 

 

 

*

 

 

Claudia's first time was boring. When she turned thirty, Mamá began to insist on her going out with various men, despite all of Claudia's protest, because she would never be married off if she just stayed at home. Claudia liked staying at home, but she still went on those dates, the obedient daughter she was. If it were just the dates and the restaurant and the movies and the occasional walk watching over the Hudson, Claudia would have been fine with it, because she was nothing if not sociable and easy to warm up to. But then there was what went on behind closed doors in the bedroom and that, Claudia was less fond of.

 

The first time, with a very kind man whose name she did not even remember, was in his room under dim light, after a fun and engaging date at the restaurant then the movies, but that last part of the date was the opposite of fun and engaging for Claudia. She could have said no, she knew he would have respected that, respected her, but she did give it a try. She thought it might be like these drugs kids are into these days, you get hooked once and you can't go without. That was _not_ how it turned out for her. These things did nothing for her − the man might as well have been touching her elbow. She tried it again, a few times, with different partners, until the conclusion was inevitable: Claudia simply did not enjoy bedroom activities.

 

After one awkward and long conversation, Mamá stopped suggesting Claudia went on dates. She had enough love to give to everyone in the barrio to focus it on just one man.

 

 

*

 

 

Vanessa's first time sucked. Well, it depends what you count as the first time. If you include these few times she let guys finger her in that hidden spot on school grounds where nobody ever found them during break, that one blowjob in Bennett Park, then it didn't suck. Those were actually pretty nice. Some people would count them as the first time. Vanessa doesn't, because it would put her first time way earlier than she's willing to admit. What she does count is that night, not long after her dad's death, not long enough that she was used to just her mom and her at home, not recent enough that she still had the excuse to lash out at her mom, but she did anyways and dashed out of the apartment fuming. That night, she went out to do something stupid, fifteen years old, and the first thing she thought of was banging the first hot guy who would answer her text. Diego it was, who drove to her place faster than Vanessa thought possible.

 

Through all her carelessness, Vanessa still asked him if he had condoms and that trip to the bodega to grab some may have been the most awkward moment in her life. Usnavi kept staring at her, mouth gaping, and Diego wouldn't let go of her hips, grabbing them in a way that couldn't possibly mean anything other than that they were going to get laid as soon as they were out. They didn't even make it home, just took a sharp turn in an empty street and late at night, dark and empty, it was enough. The first time was mildly painful, boring, and over before it began. He smelled of smoke and sweat and tasted of spearmint. Vanessa hated it. But liked the concept and hated her mom enough to want to do it again just to know she'd disappoint her.

 

She hated the second time, with another guy, a little bit less. The next one, a girl this time, was even better. It took time and work to learn to have great sex, time and work Vanessa was willing to spend. The first time was like a shaky and overused car motor struggling to start running, but once the race began, Vanessa became unstoppable.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you read this and enjoyed it, please consider leaving a comment to tell me what you liked :) It really means the world to get feedback. You don't need an AO3 account to leave kudos or post a comment.


End file.
